I’ve realized that other people with bipolar disorder have this horrible inner monologue. I’m going to put some of mine here and continue updating it in hopes of ridding myself of them.
11/21/23 @ 2:22 PM – Thoughts are over now bur I still fell like shit for missing my pilates.
- You’re a lazy motherfucker.
- Why can’t you just get the app working so you can workout?
- You’re fat and need it!
- You’re a fucking dumbass, fatass, moronic worthless piece of shit.
- Theres no point in you.
At this point I cancelled my class and really couldn’t get it to work. My husband was even trying. I began bawling on the floor. And continued to cry for the next 10 minutes. My husband was talking but I had no idea what he was saying because my head was still screaming.
- Why did you cancel you’re a fatass that needs the exercise.
- What you’re going to sit at you desk the rest of the day cow?
- You might as well die.
- The world would be better off.
- No one would even care.
So thats 10 in 1 time I can remember. It was so loud I couldn’t hear anything else. Needless to say I finally got the app working and ready for my Friday Class.
- Why should she love you as a mother? You’re shitty!!!
- You might as well disappear because your daughter doesn’t even want you around and you only see her once a month.
My Depression and Ketamine Home Journey 
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