I used to never want kids.

My first child was a surprise. Let’s face it, though she was a pleasant surprise.

I had my second daughter planned. I am no longer with her father. I feel like I am being punished. I don’t know what else I could’ve done better except to have more money.

He literally is supposed to tell me or talk to me if he’s going to take her out of the state but they were gone this weekend to Chicago. She missed school on Friday and didn’t get home until 9 PM last night. On Sundays when I have her she has to be home by 7 PM because of school the next day.

I am so sick of it. it’s OK because she’s with her dad? But he can decide that it’s not OK when she’s with me?

I want to die.

The state of Florida makes me regret everything I feel like a horrible person for saying that. I feel so horrible because I know I don’t regret my kids.

I just don’t understand how her dad can cause me so much pain. It hurts so bad I just want it to be over. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t even turn towards my partner anymore.