I woke up later than I wanted to and had to rush to get ready for a client intake.So I start the intake with this chick. After a few questions in that were basic any time, I try to get more information from her about anything including her living situation she told me I don’t feel comfortable with how you asked the question.

She kept telling me that she didn’t feel comfortable with how I asked the question for multiple questions. I ended the intake, started bawling and texted my supervisor.

Then my supervisor told me that I am the third therapist to work with this client. The first two therapists refused to work with her because she was disrespectful.

This made me so much happier to know that I wasn’t a complete failure. But I mean come on if you refer yourself to me for therapy and you can’t even deal with the basic questions when I ask them softly with no aggression.

Why even bother coming? If you’re not going to except a therapist or even try to within the first few minutes. And if you don’t connect with me, why are you sitting through the whole appointment? Just not answering questions?

So then, on top of that shit I had like three more clients to see and when I was done, I tried to order food for delivery for us, and it kept failing so I gave up.

My daughter ended up ordering food for me… But they forgot all the sauces except the sour cream that they so liberally added to my meal so everything looks white and then they said they were adding guacamole but I got a chunk of avocado and that was it.

So this is my second time eating at Moe’s southwest grill in like six years and I see why because I hated it the first time and this time they made me dislike it because they made the food with way too much sour cream and forgot all of the sauces, including salsa for my fucking chips!

$50 later… I’m so hungry and my headache hasn’t gone away. I already took six Advil the first time and then I took four more about an hour later.

I’m starting to wonder if I need to take more?Then I had a virtual appointment this morning with my psychiatrist and we’ve decided that the way my depression is hitting is so intermittent and has no cause so it’s a possible multiple sclerosis flareup. I called my neurologist and explained all this today while in tears, but the doctor never even bothered to call me back. And then I tried to get counseling at Solace behavioral health, but they are making me wait until I see the psychiatrist about the Spravato. Then they will decide which therapist I see so I just have to suffer in the meantime spending my day’s crying.

And it’s like no one’s listening to me I’m screaming out for help and no one is responding. I want to die every day. Something is wrong. No one will help me. At this point I wish I had the balls to commit suicide just to end this pain.

I am so tired of everything. I hope that when I go to sleep, I won’t wake up but I always do is it is so disappointing.