So I went and picked up one of the kids this weekend, and took them both to Universal again. I know that my disability affects my depression so much.

I can’t even go into detail. My stomach hurts so badly and it has been all weekend. I am scared to eat because it just affects my stomach in bad ways. Coupled with a headache. I spent all weekend with. I was trying to get through theme parks in an electric wheelchair.

I can walk. That’s the fucking worst part no one ever gets that. I am like a sprinter, not a long distance walker. So, in fact, I can walk around my house and do most things without assistance, but to be honest, most things would be easier if my body worked better.

I can’t walk in a straight line to save my life. I’ve been tripping over air since I was a little girl. We all just thought it was a big joke. It’s not it’s multiple sclerosis and it has been since I was a kid.

No one seems to understand fully. I don’t blame them. I don’t wish this on anyone. Not even my worst enemy.

One thing I have is a husband that tries to understand, and listens to me. I’m lucky I’m luckier than hell to have him.I don’t know how I got so lucky.

But when I leave this house, and I have to use a wheelchair my world changes.

I try to see the humor in it. I get to spend all day looking at peoples asses but it’s usually not what I pick out so I look at pants and shoes. Sometimes I see what people shirts say.

My first appointment for ketamine treatment is this Wednesday. Fingers crossed.

Id honestly write more but I keep typing and it gets deleted and I can’t remember everything I wrote and I’m getting tired of it. It’s just fucking happened again I typed a bunch of shit out and somehow it disappeared. It’s as bad as the elevator at Universal.

I just typed a shit ton and it got deleted. I don’t know what to do. It’s like trying to access the second floor of CityWalk when you were in a wheelchair.