I have scheduled all of my pre-appointments for my depression treatment through Mindbloom. I am excited for ketamine treatment, not because it’s ketamine, but because I have tried so many different things to alleviate my depression, and none of it has worked. I’ve tried countless amounts of anti-depressants. I went through many treatments and finished TMS therapy. Yet I sat here yesterday doing research on assisted suicide. I’m over feeling sad every day all day for no apparent reason I get it then I should be sad for certain things and I am, but when I’m in the middle of Universal Studios, Orlando, with my kids having a great day, but in the back of my mind, still wanting to kill myself. I don’t understand it. How can I be with my favorite people at one of my favorite places and still not want to be at all. It’s not the fact that I am there. It is the fact that I am here I spend almost every night wanting to go to sleep and not wake up. I end up crying the next morning when I do wake up.